I’ve been saving this video as a reward once I finish grading my papers, and my moment is finally nigh. EEEeeeeee!

For as many times as it had been said, it bears repeating:

I have so much information in P tracker though...

He’s so adorable. He lives in my really small middle of nowhere country town in the Catskills and was monumentally important in helping us fight fracking along the Delaware River. He’s super friendly and unassuming, his wife and kids are also, they’re definitely on the hippie dippie side (naked drum circles style) but…

Plot twist: your coworker was menstruating, but she’s also a werewolf.

Totally would have thought of werewolves first too! Granted, I’m a clueless guy that reads fantasy novels so....

“the English have landed”

Female co worker was telling a story earlier and said she wasn’t feeling well this past weekend “because of the moon.”

“the English have landed”

You can pry “The Communists are in the funhouse” from my cold dead hands

There needs to be far more discussion in this political cycle about the current status of Kanye’s anus and its proximity to nearby fingers. It’s far more interesting than whatever garbage is spewing out of Ted Cruz’s face hole.

That had to be a set up for a gag pic. Or he is drunk off his ass.

My biggest fantasy is that he wins the republican nomination handily, then says such ridiculous things in the primary that hillary wins in a landslide, and then after he loses says “yeah, i just thought she should be president so I made up the most ridiculous things I could. Republicans are idiots for believing me.”

Yeah Cruz is a true believer. Trump doesn’t really believe in anything but his own ego.

Is that Mark Ruffalo? How hammered is he?

What I understand even less than his inability to ask Siri even if there had been any openly gay people who had won Oscars is the fact that his song won. It's an objectively bad song. How, when, whyyyyyy?

Bobby, did you see this yet?

Seriously. It’s enough that Leo got his IOU Oscar. But I’m glad that something besides torture porn won.

Would’ve loved to see Fury Road win Best Picture, but I take some consolation in the fact that the Best Picture Oscar went to Not the Revenant.