Once I was dating a girl and she asked for a dick pic. I’m very uncomfortable sending out pictures of my dick, but I took one and sent it. First however I used the walking dead make yourself a zombie app to make it humorous and not in any way erotic. She was not pleased. Here is the picture, in all its glory:
Mr. Macgyner once, while stuck at a truck stop due to a broken down bus, said he was “in a trucker mood” and asked me to send him a “saucy picture.” We were not in a great spot, and I’m not into the whole sending pics thing (which he fucking knew!) so I was inordinately annoyed, and thought, “You want a saucy picture?…
This isn’t exactly ‘grim’ but basically this is what hubby and I text each other every day when we’re in different parts of the house:
I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”
Is it allowed to be intentionally stupid?
One of the first texts I remember receiving from Mr. VonQueso: “I would hump the shit out of you.”
Every single conversation I’ve had with Fighting Polish in the comment threads of Jezebel.
If they hired that many prostitutes and had an all-day orgy, it would be shocking, because it would mean both parties working together, reaching a decision, and making it happen.
My expectations for the U.S. House of Representatives have gotten so low that if I read in the newspaper that it was found that they had hired 500 prostitutes and just had a crazy kinky afternoon bangathon I would be like “well at least they’re staying out of trouble.”
I moved in with the man who would become my husband in 1998. I had a 7 yr old cat. He was allergic. “She’s pretty old,” I said. “You won’t have to live with a cat for too long.” That cat died in 2013. She was a huge asshole for all 22 years of her life. God, I miss her. My husband does not.
Pfft. He obviously never learned that discussing fine California champagne is the best way to get in a girl’s pants.
I have to explain to her that it’s not alchemy or magic that transmutes peppercorns into pepper
The Tito’s/Tanqueray thing reminds me of this time back in my mid-20s when I went to this party my then-roommate’s friends were throwing. I didn’t really know the people at this party, but there was free booze, so whatever. I’m making random small talk with this dude who, it became quickly apparent, was a total…
Here is a guide to thrifting in LESS than 37 steps.
Apparently, there’s a SFW counterpart to Rule 34 - I did a GIS for “mug of chino” (also, let me just say that a top result before I switched to images was Yahoo answers of somebody asking cuz they were too embarrassed to ask their friends what a “cup of chino” was is, well, sad), and I found precisely what came to…
“How dare you mock the guy for not knowing what the beach is? Some people make it to age 50 without visiting the beach and somehow completely missing the ever-present representations of beaches in popular culture. Besides, many people suffer from Glorpman’s Syndrome, which is an inability to understand the…
A yuppie and his date came into the bar. It was obviously early in the relationship and he was obviously showing her how urbane he was.
Maybe hot chocolate lady was allergic to beige?
