I heard that. Trejo said it on interview he did for the “How Did This Get Made” podcast. Really funny. I think he also said Clooney scares him.

My bad

This happened in Baltimore.

Oh, neat. We’re still trotting out this not-at-all-tired joke. Cool. I hope this goes on all season.

“We had a puke and piss bush growing outside my house in college which allowed us to puke or piss off the front porch while at least partially obscured from the street. It received extensive use. One night on the way home from the bar I stopped to piss on the bush from ground level and ended up passing out underneath…

I’m not a labor attorney in California, but I have been one in Louisiana, and I would guess this injury is going to be covered under California’s worker’s comp laws (he was acting within the scope of his job duties). I would think the guard would still have a potential action against the idiot, but likely no way to…

I’m a 35-year-old single white male with a law degree... am I every Deadspin reader?

My hot take is that this column is more boring and played out than clever or witty. COME AT ME BRO.

Chandra’s real mistake was trying to put Naz on the stand at all after he told her he couldn’t do it. I don’t know any attorney that would continue to pursue that strategy after the client is telling that he’s too strung out to do it, and you know his alibi is, “I don’t know.”

I’ve had Saints season tickets for 15 years and never once seen anyone piss in a sink at the Superdome. And that’s a drunk, stupid crowd, my friend. Double fuck those people; they’re skewing your sense of reality.

“Fencing. You’re not really a pirate. Or a knight. The only you’re on the fencing team is because the chess team and the squash team cut you. I went to prep school. I know how it works.”

This is the best post I’ve read on this site. Nailed it on both counts. I never realized I was the second one until I saw the advice and realized I became the first.

“Also I live in Kansas City now so I could easily just root for the Chiefs, but I enjoy being let down and fucked over.”

In order:

There are so many good fencing jokes here that I don’t even care that I’m not going to get out of the grays...

They are. I’m a lawyer and I boned a paralegal for an extended period of time at my first law firm. Then we broke up, she transferred to New York, and I now have my own practice. So... win?

I would love to see the list of Grantland writers, ranked.

As a Saints fan, I resent the implication that this was the worst defense in football last year.

I’m a licensed attorney in Louisiana and, as such, I know precisely none of the legal terms here. Goddammit.