I would monitor my kid’s internet usage, just to make sure they weren’t going to prostitute themselves or meet up with creepy old men. I have friends that did this in high school, and I keep thinking, “What the fuck were their parents doing??” Mine, on the other hand, wouldn’t let me use the computer unless they were…

I hope you’re never burdened with a child who for whatever reason is sucked into the clutches of a pedophile on the internet because they were too trusting.

Yep. I use this feature to make sure my son and daughter aren’t doing things that will infect the system with malware. And to make sure that they aren’t being targeted by internet crazies. Or (even more likely) getting bullied online. None of my kids are teenagers yet. Once that happens I’ll be backing off a lot.

I’m in the same category: I don’t see this as a problem, and indeed, it’s a unique solution that I feel much safer with than 3rd party software.

These types of things cover up the real issue - parents aren’t spending enough time exploring how to be safe and smart online with their kids. I imagine a bunch of that is still a leftover technological generation gap and some is because there are sucky parents.

“I hope you’re not joking” “Is it really in there?” “Why did you make it?”. I appreciate this kid’s healthy cynicism and wish to subscribe to his newsletter.

Furrows brow, “He can sleep in my bed... if he wants.”

Researchers at Pennsylvania State University found that girls who have sex lose friends, while boys gain them. The opposite is true with “lighter” sexual behavior—girls who made out saw an increase in popularity, while boys took a hit.

I know this is not the point of the article, but MAN they really tried to shoehorn that acronym in. That is one clunky acronym. If you have to try that hard to make an acronym work, guys, it's okay if you just call your program Prosper by itself.

Just do what I did in high school: have no sex and no friends. I turned out just fine!

So I go the pharmacy and get Plan B, which is basically like mainlining a bunch of birth-control pills. Even though I am solidly pro-choice for everyone else...

Tourist: “Excuse me, what side of the boat will the whale be on?”

Watermelon gum. Apparently bears will walk miles to eat watermelon gum.

- Dude who one day walked out of a bathroom* in Sequioa National Park and into a bear’s ass who was licking the watermelon gum that someone had stuck under the fountain spigot.

*Yes, thank god it was a bathroom since I crapped my pants.

And the…

OMG! I had a friend who worked for the park service. She said she was talking about how glaciers were formed millions of years ago and some dude got all “well, if you BELIEVE in millions of years”! Like the entire concept of “a million years” was 100% foreign to this dummy’s brain. We had a good chuckle over that one.…

When I was in college I spent a semester in Europe. My mother was telling our neighbors about my trip, and told them that I had visited Germany and went to the concentration camp in Dachau. The neighbor lady (a grown-ass woman) asked: “They do tours there? Don’t the prisoners care that people are coming just to look…

I had an internship at a zoo in undergrad, and there was a note left about me one time. I explained that horseshoe crabs were an ancient species and you could see their relatives, the trilobites, in fossils from the Cambrian period. The dad got all huffy and asked how I knew it was “millions of years”, and I responded…

#ICANNOTBEOWNED

Oh good, they get to watch games up close. That makes it #worthit.

What *are* they worth, though?