Many, many stars for you.

Hey Tampa friend!!!

It was a gorgeous color and her lip color perfectly popped with it. And this is also what my husband said when I texted him this photo and this is why I married him.

I saw this suit in person today!!! I was so close and I touched her arm and it was amazing!!!

I’ve been on maternity leave for five months and kinja mobile doesn’t work for shit, so I haven’t commented in ages. But I just went and found my laptop (which was dusty as shit, yay no work!) to log in and tell you that this is the greatest piece of satire I’ve read in awhile. Thank you.

I installed mine and my husband installed his... I feel like you both need to be able to do it? Although I admit I probably couldn’t have done it if I didn’t drive an SUV. I don’t fit in tight spaces as well...

It’s pretty easy... but maybe Chrissy has a way fancier one than I do. I’m about the same level of pregnant and just installed mine this weekend and was shocked at how easy it was.

Trader Joe’s has precut butternut squash that doesn’t cost more than the whole squash, and I don’t feel badly about buying it one single bit.

But if you want to stay old, you can just do what I do and follow her on the Facebook. ;)

In terms of “states most of the US likes to make fun of” you are close.

Honestly, I’m not a huge NFL fan (I have only ever really followed college football) and my husband’s fandom does not lie with our local team (they didn’t exist when he was a kid, though he is from the area... maybe that helps your guessing!). So while I’m not totally sure, I’m fairly certain we aren’t as bad as the…

Sorry for the misunderstanding!! :)

Yeah I assume not, but since it isn’t my wheelhouse (and I hate these cases so I try to avoid doing them at all costs unless I’m assigned one) I didn’t feel comfortable saying “it isn’t a crime.” Because despite being a federal prosecutor, I honestly don’t know every single crime in the books and I don’t like to make…

Also deportation isn’t only a criminal penalty; it’s often entirely an administrative matter.

The crimes that are most frequently charged are unlawful entry or unlawful re-entry after deportation. Both of which require, as an element of the offense, “entry at a time and place other than as directed by” the US government. It’s the entry that is the sticking point. So once you enter lawfully, there are other…

Thanks, I appreciate it. It’s not easy work so I, uh, get very touchy about it.

This just isn’t true. The laws in the U.S. aren’t THAT vague. A cute bath pic isn’t child porn. A picture of a naked kid taken for an artistic or medical purpose isn’t child porn. And generally speaking I wouldn’t ever charge a picture like that even if the person was a pedophile because it would be extraordinarily…

I could find myself making that statement in a court of law... I do it all the time. As my job. And no, a bath tub pic is very unlikely to ever be considered CP, even in the hands of a pervert. It’s, at best, child erotica, which is not illegal.

Yeah. But also I meant to express that as a matter of law. I prosecute these sorts of cases and it is a confusing issue for a lot of people. Your average bathtub pic is not illegal to have, period.

Nah. It’s what I do for a living and I don’t think it’s crazy. A risk is a risk.