therealjanelle
The Real Janelle
therealjanelle

I asked and he couldn't give me an answer. Then he opened up his bank app and started reciting some stuff with breaks in between. That was it for me! 

Hey guys, long time no see! I forget to post early on Saturdays so that’s why there haven’t been Catalina updates. So here’s one.

lol I know sorry! I keep missing SNS but will remember this week. She's doing great, still in therapy, turning into a messy toddler. You can check us out in Instagram at @varleta_ :) 

Yuck, exactly. Also is the angle for that piece “but her vagina was clearly asking for it since it clamped tightly around my dick”?

Talk me into reading Murakami, please? That passage there is the first thing by him I've ever read and I'm not impressed. HOW RAPEY AND GROSS. 

I’m late to this party but whatever.

My scalp hurts whenever I attempt any sort of updo or ponytail or whatever. I usually wear a shitty loose knot because of that. :(

I tried this once, but then I couldn't get over how much of an asshole that dude was. Really, just insufferable. The problem I think is that he would NOT just come over and bang - he'd plan dinner, and a movie, and hand stuff, then slept over. I couldn't even talk to him at the end, all his opinions were wrong. Sex

I know of a mom who breastfed her daughter to sleep until she was 5. I think that’s too damn old, especially because she and the father split and this kid would obviously not be able to fall asleep on her own bed when visiting dad and that made it harder for everyone. So, I feel this kind of late breastfeeding, just

My husband's mom has only ever had one job: to be a mom and housewife. Her kids now range from 40 to 21 and she can't let go - of course the youngest doesn't know how to do shit because mom does everything for him, and she can't do anything on her own, not even, idk, going shopping. She won't take a vacation because

lol I was with you until baby leashes. My baby doesn't walk yet but I imagine she'll be crazy as all fuck and I'll definitely need one if those leash things. (I also hope she walks soon because she's like 22 pounds now and my arms can't take it) 

A boyfriend once told me he had a friend with a super long dick and said friend reportedly couldn’t even feel the end of it. Like, sex was not really pleasurable for him because vaginas weren't deep enough for him to hit the pleasurable zone in his dick. We felt sad and then rejoiced boyfriend didn’t have that

I think he'll be a great father. They both have the advantage of having all the help in the world when parenting gets tough! 

How is this even up for debate? Rude.

It's the kind of home remedy popular in Latin American cultures. I didn't know anybody who used it but definitely had heard of it. 

Wait, who doesn’t sell condoms or fill BC prescriptions here in Chile? Because I’m pretty sure these things are readily available IF you can pay for them. Birth control is expensive as shit, but also, I think most of us Chileans receive awful sex ed. I’ve spent many hours teaching my little sister how to use her pills

Team Blue Barracudas.

I took the week off to take care of my baby for the first time ever since she was born 15 months ago. I've managed to keep her reasonably well fed and rested and she's happy. I'm tired as all fuck though! 

Good vibes!!! 💕 💕 💕

I mean I live with my coworker and we have a kid and are buying a house, but it was bad for a while. Also he wasn't my boss and we don't share any bosses until level 3. But if you don't care a lot about this job then why not?? Please don't take my advice as it is terrible.