I am deeply convinced that Elon Musk is a comic book villain come to life. He’s just still in the phase where everyone thinks of him as just being a tech genius.

Mueller right now is a bit like GRR Martin- stuck on trying to figure out a way through an endless array of plot twists and unable to finish anything

WHY DIDN’T THEY INVESTIGATE BENGHAZI.

There’s also this mistaken belief out there that one’s religion is somehow immutable. It’s not. There are literally hundreds of sects out there, and my response to these people is always: you have consciously chosen and/or adhered to one that espouses this bigotry. No human being is born with any specific inherent…

Now we know why they got rid of Richie Cunningham’s older brother on Happy Days

Exactly. The Parkland shooter used a variation on this, pulling the fire alarm to get them in the hallways. He wouldn’t even need to shoot that many-they could just pile up in the doors and suffocate like in all the nightclub tragedies that resulted from this exact door strategy. He wouldn’t even need a gun anymore!…

Our “anachronistic” head of state is a 92 year old woman who served in the armed forces as a mechanic during WWII.

So? I feel like people project a lot onto the royals. If I do my own projecting: my mom and stepdad went through a really bad rough patch, with infidelity and separation and so much hurt. Somehow, they reconciled. At first, we kids were bitter and unforgiving, but here we are some ~15 years later he is a great…

You mean the guy who still uses completely unsupported Windows XP on the computers of a doctors office? You think that guy would have accurately explained these things?

Better idea: offer him a couple billion if he will take a little pill Gates provides. When Trump seems a little uncertain. Gates laughs, calls him a “pussy” and says, “Shit man. It’s cyanide not suicide. Don’t you know the difference?”

I have a relative who thinks Trump is great. She also puts random words in capital letters in her tweets, goes off on unfounded harangues about brown people and probably doesn’t know the difference between HPV and HIV either. She also has several “Live Laugh Love” pillows throughout her house. It’s scary that there…

That is such an insult to Michael Scott.

My family would be utterly humiliating. So grateful to not be famous!

Jesus Christ can someone please muzzle that entire side of the family?

Listen, you can still be a musician/model/actor even if you haven’t booked any gigs yet, okay?

And it still stars a rapist.

This is the worst season of House Of Cards ever. The writing it so bad.

Much like when Don Jr. said he would “love, honor, and cherish” Vanessa, it’s just something you say at the time. Doesn’t really mean anything, other than “too busy right now, brb.”