That shit is no joke — that could crack skulls. When I worked there, the manager told me on the first day to “just not come to work TOO high,” knowing nothing about me. So I assume the wife sharing policy is pretty lax, too.

Depends if he works at Jimmy John’s or a Fortune 500 company. I have a long standing “no co workers”/ “No one in my apartment building” Rule

Oh are we doing this now. Kathleen Madigan had a bit about this in 2006. It was called “Oprah.” It’s about Oprah being president. Not a crazy stretch as concepts go.

I don’t know, I found it Polar-izing

I don’t know, I found it Polar-izing

Yes.... “Next Time”

I hope these women Zoobilee SUE!

Moral: don’t have children

I believe these clots were formed by a man insisting that he ordered a large amount of sod to be delivered to his house.

I’m definitely glad Twitter is around for mildly amusing and uncreative shitpost memes. It’s a good trade-off for nuclear annihilation.

I also came here to say “why hasn’t anyone commented on this yet.” I had only heard of Jeff Rosenstock after “We Cool?” and holy shit is it good. I haven’t felt like that at a live show since high school either.

This is the funniest fucking I’ve ever seen.

Becoming Shape

Came here to say that OHHHHHHH THAT LEAD JOKE IS A LONG FUCKING WALK WOWWWWWW

This essay is the take by which other takes will be measured. Standing Ovation.

I keep going back to Fast, Cheap and Out of Control lately. I don’t know why. The way it all clicks at the end feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced watching a documentary.

>>you can’t make a star wars movie and just toss in some mysterious and all powerful evil force man and never even ONCE allude to where this guy came from.

Let us now recall the time Jason Priestly joined forces with a cartoon eagle in an NRA gun video:

Errol Morris is the fucking GOAT

CATTTT PEOPLE, CATTTTT PEOPLE, WALK LIKE CAT, TALK LIKE PEOPLE