Second craziest person to weigh balls in attempt to determine cheating this year!

That is goddamn beautiful and perfect

2016 has already robbed me of so many artists who lived the lives I was not brave enough to try.

Jim: You playing that game again?
Dwight: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user virtual environment. It doesn’t have points or scores, it doesn’t have winners or losers.
Jim: Oh it has losers.

It’s hard for me to get excited this early in the baseball season (mostly because basketball controls my life come playoffs), but BITCH NUTS did you see that inning?

For all you stats nerds with your advanced formulas who keep saying the RBI is no big deal, what are you losers gonna say when Denard Span has 648 RBI this year?

This is a good start, if women’s sports want to be equal to men’s

The cops must have been practicing nabbing Wambachs with their T-16s back home.

As a sign of solidarity, Wambach’s former teammate Hope Solo murdered a homeless man.

I ask this with immense fondness: u mad

I had been putting off logging into my kinja account on this new computer for 3 months now. This comment, in a sea of worthy contending comments, got me to go through the rigorous process of reobtaining my login credentials just to star. This doesn’t say anything about me, right?

John, Paul, George, and Rondo.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Young fella would’ve never seen the court in the fourth quarter if Byron Scott still coached New Orleans.

Is that you Avery Johnson?

Was it called fowl?

You’d probably be better off watching the last 152 minutes of Tommy Morrison’s life.

Meet Chumlee Plumlee.

Didn't work for Jordan Clarkson.

That was the second-best bank shot of the day, behind only Northern Iowa’s.