What would make sense? Honestly, this is newspapers all over again. There is literally no saving ESPN. It is doomed long term. The reality is that kids don’t watch sports, they watch esports on twitch. The reality is that kids don’t care about cable. So what is the play here? ESPN is a television station that…

I was going to write something snarky about my continual bafflement that people actually make buying decisions based on celebrity but then I remembered that Donald Trump got like 60+ million votes and remembered people are idiots.

I remember a “positive” story about some dude who hadn’t taken a sick day at his job in 40 years...my first thought was “what a sucker”. I will never understand why people don’t use benefits they are entitled to.

It’s alzheimer’s...I am dead serious...he sounds 100% like my father...telling the same exact stories, using the same words, not making a lick of sense...add in the anger and you’ve got a dead ringer for what I saw every day years with him...

Honestly, it takes ten minutes...I went from 31 years of left hand drive to driving in Sydney and it took all of ten minutes...short left, long right...the only time in 15 months in Australia I fucked up was turning onto an empty road along the coast and realizing about 2 miles down the road that I was on the wrong…

No...he’s a robot engineered to have nothing else in his life but golf and therefore can’t see a world without it...Look, maybe I am misreading this but I’ve never gotten the sense that he loves golf as much as the sense that his dad shoehorned him into golf and he happened to be really good at it...

I know dude liked him, but a banner? I think KG’s legendary intensity gets the best of him sometimes. I do not know if Flip was a great coach or a terrible coach, but I do know he was about 30 games over .500 as coach of the Timberwolves and does not deserve a banner. That’s no slight on him, it’s just reality.

The media is wonderful...how much ink does a show whose finale might have netted 1 million viewers really need? I am serious, if you only read the media you would think Girls was some sort of juggernaut on par with Seinfeld. Literally more people watch NCIS re-runs than a new ep of Girls...by a mile.

This is such bullshit...the internet is fucking ginormous, the idea that anyone will google this stuff and find it and link it to themselves twenty years from now is utterly absurd.

Isn’t it obvious? He has seen the world (at least the smart ones) reject the notion he’s a genius in favor of the much more plausable explanation that he was a decent locker room manager blessed with a host of hall of famers that a monkey could coach to tiles. So he’s wedded to this belief that the beloved triangle is…

I’ve been out with a lot of women in the past twenty years (God help me) and lemme tell you...anything you hear about women paying for dates is complete BS...they are lying on these surveys. I have paid for all but one first date in my entire life. Every single “single” I know has the same experience. I am not here to…

I know, you only fuck on fucking grass!

The solution was even simpler. Keep offering more money. They had more room to go and, let’s be honest, they could certainly have offered more than the legal limit and it’s not like anybody would have reported them.

100% - I swear to God this is a true story. Management wanted to increase morale and asked us for ideas and one of my co-workers popped up that we should fine ourselves every time we swore in the office. I literally shit you not, a competition then ensued over my co-workers competing over who could propose the largest…

There is a documentary on this that is wonderful. It’s a must see. Called “The Barkley Marathons” (of course)

Reason #993434 I don’t let kids in my home. I am not kidding. Kids are terrible.

Indeed the Aztecs sucked...but the Spanish calling anyone anything for brutality is equivalent to Mao insulting Stalin...the Spanish are historically one of the planet’s biggest monsters...the Aztecs also sucking doesn’t change that.

It’s not that you love getting fucked over it’s that you fall into one of two camps. You use a product or service so rarely that devoting time and energy into fighting for a cause makes little sense. The vast majority of the people delayed on these flights are infrequent flyers who will grumble and then not get on an…

I hope the media refers to him as “former professional basketball player Tony Romo” from now on...rather than give the slot to some (NBA worthy) kid who actually dreamed of this and would die to play 4 min of garbage time, they are going to do the classic thing and give a has-been his moment for no other reason than…

Totes...but remember, these guys grew up in the age of “let’s not keep score” and “everyone gets a trophy” and “the game ends if one team is up 10" etc...etc... I’ve literally had my eight year old nephew whine and cry if he loses any game by a big margin and demand the game be stopped...we created a generation of…