I’ll believe it is going into effect when it actually goes into effect.

When you said “Grandmaster caught cheating in the bathroom” my first thoughts were of sympathy towards Mrs. Flash. 

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

I see your favorite recipe, and raise it with mine: smoked deviled eggs.

You don't even have to take out the yolks or mash anything! Just squeeze some mayo, mustard, and siracha on to half a hard-boiled egg, and let your teeth do the mashing!

Listen, I don’t know who in the hell you think you are coming around here with your ‘facts’ and ‘knowledge’; but I’m going  to have to ask you to leave. Don’t make me call security.

In the spirit of this dumb joke, they should have made a luxury Avenger to take market share from people who want posh Nissans. Create an Avenger-Infiniti War.

You sound like you could use a Snickers.

A spokesman for Roger Goodell says the commissioner will indeed take action, and that he was not previously aware of the video.

Step 1: Turn off the news