Or the knife.

Colonel Mustard, Mrs. Peacock, Conservatory

Wrens it going to be finished?

People are shouting about freedom for confederate flags or whatever. Well guess what. THIS is the real end of our freedom. I just know Obama is behind this.

*Bob Odenkirk style* GOD DAMN IT!

The A.V. Club

They normally involve me seeing a dark figure above my bed staring down at me reaching towards me or something slinking in to my room along the ground. I try to scream but nothing comes out. I just want to make any noise possible to alert someone that I'm in danger. Then I just have to suffer through it, the entire…

All it ever wanted was for you to be happy that it's happy.

Eye see what you did there.

The answer is simple:

Don't worry. I made it better:

Why would the eye of the cyclops be in its mouth? How does it eat? Is that why there aren't any more cyclops?

This made me realize how pissed I am at myself for not seeing Mad Max Fury Road one more time in theaters before it left. It also led me to find out that it is still playing at the theater that is walking distance from my house. Also that theater has a bar. I know what I'm doing this weekend!

He prefers the flesh of a newborn. Whites only, obviously.

That's…a good question actually.

Wait they're different shows?

What a bunch of corporate fat cats!

I can't live that long!

You get off on lying too?

Also in Trump news, last night at our weekly trivia night my team named ourselves Donald Trump's Micro Dong. Guy can't catch a break! I also expected a better reaction, but whatever the host liked it!