I think we could all use a hedgehog in an egg cup.

What in the fuckety fuck is this fucking fuckery! FUCK!

I'm monogamous and feel absolutely nothing resembling stifling boredom and insecurity.

I think the cat is bored of being told how great she is because every cat everywhere is thinking "I am great" pretty much all the time, so none of this is news to her.

"they'll be featuring Birmingham in a spread in the magazine, along with five other "real" women."

"And let's not forget SHe's main attraction: a catwalk where women in scanty clothing perform"

Kerridge: [logs onto twitter]

Whenever we have blood drives at work, somebody inevitably always asks me to donate. When they ask why I can't (expecting me to say something about living abroad or being anemic) and I reply with "I have sex with men", the look of sudden shock on their face is priceless.

"Gymgoers realize they're on display when they work out".

I think I know someone who might be into this.

Next stop, Fried Chicken and Wonut!

One can hope, but the assholes who try to run me down with their walkers at my mom's assisted living make me think otherwise. Seriously, the other day I was trying to exit the elevator with my mom in her wheelchair, and they fucking mobbed us and would not move. It was like a very slow-moving mosh pit.

This video is pure schadenfreude. Only... I'm smiling and laughing with my WHOLE face.

It's the fillers that are the real killer here. It's hard to scrunch your face to cry when there's the proverbial ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag!

Uuugh Phyllis Schlafly and the whole conservative thoughts on marriage bullshit. If you love the 50s so much invent a goddamn time machine and go there you fucking dinosaur.