When I was teaching first grade we played a game where we'd pick a letter and the kids would shout out words that began with that sound, e.g., "b" and "boy," "bath," "bird," etc. We were doing "l," and the parents happened to be there that day. One little girl yells out, "Longneck," and turns and smiles at her good…

Your son is my people.

Also good advice - if you're looking to introduce novelties in the bedroom, make sure your partner is up to give it a try before spending $299 on that real leather whip with matching handcuffs.

Ouch. Burn. Well played.

Whoa. He is 34? He looks 50. At least. He looks very unhealthy.

Nancy Reagan's specialized brand of blowjob.

Start working at home with Google! It's by-far the best job I've had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this - 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail

I'm firmly a feminist, but holy fuck, if this chick's career isn't a perfect example of when the feminist movement tries to eat its own young. "BUT SHE SAYS SKINNY BITCHES AND THAT'S NOT NICE!!!! SHE'S NOT A REAL FEMINIST! SHE'S PROBLEMATIC." Well, jeez, no wonder this young woman doesn't want to declare herself part…

So I know it's gimmicky and overpowering and "unserious"...but holy shit is this tasty.

I met Prudie last fall. We were talking about rape on Al Jazeera, shortly after I called her an asshole.

What's your favorite grilling music?

Fuller's ESB is the balls. Red Hook ESB also ain't bad. It sucks that 99% of shelf space at grocery stores are jammed with shitty IPAs because other types of beer are still drinkable.

Sir, I must take exception and invite you to a duel. Joking aside, I do actually like Sunset Wheat. The Berry Weiss is terrible.

That is demonstrably false.

Yeah, I'm not a fan either. I try to give them a little credit for blazing the trail (as far as craft brewers go); I wonder if sometimes a brewery stays loyal to its original recipe even after imitators bypass it. They should imitate their imitators and improve their product.

Dang. Tornadoes are no joke. TV stations should put a weather wall in the basement, so they can broadcast DIY-style without the meteorologist risking his life staying out until near-death.

Valentina's.. Or if you want to go guero, Gringo Bandito.