Adam Silver needs to buy the rights to Roundball Rock from NBC or from John Tesh and make this the official anthem of the NBA.

There have been reports that Pokemon run away more easily now, but in this case, they couldn’t catch anything for hours, period.

And child brides aren’t rape victims?

I feel like a person whose introduction to porn was their rapist abductor kind of doesn't have the most level starting point for a conversation about the subject. But maybe that's just me.

Obligatory

Hey now guy, we have like..... maybe 3 GOOD places to eat not named Stake’n Shake in this fine city.

I had a five-month work project which required me to travel to Indianapolis several times, for 4-5 days at a time. When I first got to this 14th-largest city in the USA, I asked around at the office where the good local places are for food and drink. The responses ranged from a “dunno” shrug to a…

We make the playoffs, normally avoid Wild Card weekend, then get demolished by the same team(s) every year (rhymes with Schmew Schmengland and Schmittsburgh) because you know, they get themselves ready to win a Super Bowl.

Conversation I had with my wife

Yeah Jeet2! Thi2 is up there with The Captain’2 gift ba2kets.

The fox is in the henhouse!!!!!

Huh and despite my thousands of letters, phone calls, and random appearances at her house Taylor Swift won't even send me the one lock of hair I want. Some people have all the luck...

Kindly tell me what this is doing on my Deadspin.

more like fart briles!!!!!!!11!!!!

have an attorney’s name and contact information in my phone, will/should the police allow me to access it once I’ve been arrested?

get the names two solid criminal defense attorneys into your contacts. Stop reading and go do this now.

Oh, and why is worried about the trailer, and not the WANG SHAPED POND only a few blocks away?

Don’t do that. While his neighbors were being over dramatic, don’t pretend like you don’t understand why his trailer would be objectionable.

That’s what HOAs are for. If you can’t stand the sight of a well-kept, expensive trailer in someone’s driveway, you should make your largest investment in a neighborhood where the HOAs motto is: “Absolutely no fun allowed, whatsoever!”

This is why I live in the city: suburban neighbors are the actual worst.