I’m not entirely sure what her being the D.A. has to do with this (and yes, I am aware, because I live 45 minutes away from Baltimore).

We should probably get you an all expenses paid vacation to some chill island at an all-inclusive resort. I hear they’re nice this time of year, and they might help you take that edge off. Let me know which account I should be donating to. You sound so angry I’d like to start your vacation fund for you.

“continually to nervously” - I think perhaps you should consult your elementary school English class education, and not my “lack of reading comprehension”.

You might want to read what you type while you’re furiously hate-writing to make sure that it actually makes sense before you post it. This is fun. We should keep doing this. I need morning laughs.

What point are you trying to prove here by continually commenting? That you didn’t enjoy my joke? Good for you!

Are you done being outraged yet?

You must have missed that “it was a joke post” in your quest to be outraged.

“Place: TBD; it’ll be next door on one side or another ;)“

I clicked on this because as a parent, this title was fucking magical.

It was a joke. Sorry the sarcasm was missed.

It’s a baby shower for godsakes. How much damage could people playing “guess the diaper smell” and “circle the baby words” possibly have done to the house?

a neighbor who had broken into her apartment and used it to throw a baby shower

There is no fucking way this is not a photoshop...

This person is... so nice. I would have literally stood up and walked out of the room. What a shithead.

T-shirts. I am not even joking. The t-shirts are insanely cheap, and if you’re just buying basic t-shirts, there’s no reason to NOT buy them there. And pillows. They have cheap pillows that are actually super comfortable.

Would you watch Kylie Jenner do a TED Talk on chemtrails?

This is really going to upset the “500 Days of Kristin” series over on Gawker.

I just thought you should know I’m adding Penis Pope to my vocabulary effective immediately.

The best part is, most of them come with run-flat tires too.

“Protect parents rights”... I’m confused - are they carrying the baby for 9 months? Giving up the next 18 years of their life to raise them? Giving up their college degrees and high school for the baby?