There is a time to hit people, he is the only one in this story who knows when that is.

Vigilante teen is a good teen.

...9 years of labor, no wonder she divorced Han. I’d never want to see a penis again.

This, yes, this. Why can she just not have a s***ton of Forciness with no reason why, she’s just really down with the Force.

I admire your hopeless optimism, but seriously, there was a zero-percent chance that Rey’s parents would not eventually be revealed as being significant in some manner.

Lando and Mon Mothma.

Bloodlines are super important in the Star Wars universe. So it would have to pop eventually.

I would have thought it’d have been cool if we didn’t know who the parents were. As in, she gets to be badass because of who she is and not who her parents are.

With the internet forever speculating I think we’re all going to be disappointed, no matter what the result.

If I understand my conservative family correctly, the right answer here would be to tax Harvard less so that they can, in turn, allow those tax savings to trickle down to their employees.

This is not a surprise. This is the save-the-world-idealism stage of Harvard privilege. Most students won’t be knowingly exploiting the working class for another few years yet.

As per the Filed to:

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

So, in other words, nobody kept up with the Jones’s?

Were you one of the people who heard (before this article) of Keeping Up With the Joneses?

Billy thinks the US should give up on soccer because it doesn’t have elite leagues like Europe

Nothing is worse than Real Salt Lake. There is almost nothing Spanish nor Royal about Salt Lake.

The point is, after 74 minutes and 53 seconds of terrible football, and as a result of numerous plays that never should’ve happened in a professional league, Larry Fitzgerald caught a meaningless 15-yard pass to just barely win me my fantasy game.

Fun post-game stat: there have been three 6-6 ties in the past 50 years of NFL football, and the Cardinals have been involved in all of them.

Right? They did the skit with enough time for there to be David Pumpkins EVERYWHERE.