If I understand my conservative family correctly, the right answer here would be to tax Harvard less so that they can, in turn, allow those tax savings to trickle down to their employees.

This is not a surprise. This is the save-the-world-idealism stage of Harvard privilege. Most students won’t be knowingly exploiting the working class for another few years yet.

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

So, in other words, nobody kept up with the Jones’s?

Were you one of the people who heard (before this article) of Keeping Up With the Joneses?

Billy thinks the US should give up on soccer because it doesn’t have elite leagues like Europe

Nothing is worse than Real Salt Lake. There is almost nothing Spanish nor Royal about Salt Lake.

The point is, after 74 minutes and 53 seconds of terrible football, and as a result of numerous plays that never should’ve happened in a professional league, Larry Fitzgerald caught a meaningless 15-yard pass to just barely win me my fantasy game.

Fun post-game stat: there have been three 6-6 ties in the past 50 years of NFL football, and the Cardinals have been involved in all of them.

On the flipside, there’s no way the actual marriage can top this. It’s all downhill from there.

Short of getting engaged at the venue there’s no way I’ll ever have a metal engagement shoot and I’m jealous

Please tell me they use that photo for their announcements and stuff. With no explanation. Just that photo.

Their marriage is going to be so blessed and not just because they’ll be Mr and Mrs Awesome. If only he were Captain of something. That would have made this story even more awesome.

Hopefully he will team up with Ted Cruz and his father, in some sort of LeBatard-esque right-wing news show. Rafael Cruz already has tremendous experience blowing left-wing minds.

Well fuck, do I root for the team with the out-of-touch, malignantly racist mascot, or do I root for the assholes?

And here I was thinking that it’d at least show the failed then successful assassination on a certain archduke. Thanks for the information.

I am long suffering Cubs fan. Bartman hurt.

I’m coming to terms that the Cubs will probably make it to the World Series (confession: I’m a White Sox fan). But this...

I’ve accepted that the Cubs will probably win a World Series in the next couple of years, but please, just once more can I see the light fade from a smiling Cubs fan’s eyes. Just so I can feel normal again.