I know of no other minority in the world co-opting a dehumanizing, racial slur used by its oppressor.

Clever hurl.

Anybody else laugh at the irony of a Dinosaur pitching to a Priest? Somewhere Creationists are jumping for joy.

trotted to the mound

Whoops, thought this was a video about Trevor Hoffman

Didn't you ever see "The Lost World?" T-Rexes running loose in San Diego is SO '97.

He and Jamie Moyer played AA ball together.

balk.

OMG I can't wait to get my new dental insurance so I can get an implant. If Ed McMahon handed me a giant check right now I'd be like "I'M GOING TO THE DENTIST, FOOLS!" when I was meant to yell something about going to Disneyland.

I'd open a cat sanctuary and spin around in a field of cats a la The Sound of Music.

I still don't get how they can ban you for counting cards. I mean, I get that they "can" but you're just using your brain. No tricks. No cheating. It's like penalizing someone for knowing the answers to Trivial Pursuit because they paid attention in History class.

If I had that kind of money, I'd pay off all my debts at once and then get on the next plane going anywhere overseas, just because I've never been.

I'm hypnotized by the boob jiggle.

I know no one cares about this, but I'll say it anyway. If casinos are banning you for life, you do not have a gambling problem. You are actually freakishly good at it.

same, kris

How would it be to be able to dump millions of dollars on multiple lavish weddings, instead of, you know, worrying about eating out once a week because you think your car is going to crap out on you, and that your cat now needs special food because she's an asshole, and that you have to wait to go to the dentist until…

True story: in college, my roommate's then-girlfriend (now-wife) refused to let us buy a deep fryer because she knew we would wind up attempting to fry everything we owned. She was right, too; she would absolutely have walked in to find a deep-fried shoe.

Even before I read the story, I knew Texas was going to dominate. Don't think of it as hate. Just think of it as doing it big, as is our nature.

This is the only place to go to get your things fried.

To be fair, when I do the Hipster Food Festivals one, California is going to OWN this list. Texas just wins out because of the category.