Aw, flea. Your pronouns are questionable, but your emojis seem to be in the right place. <3

It's like some weird combination of "Mean Girls" and tense, bloody international politics.

And every year, they keep making those packages more and more see through. Eventually, they won't even be IN packages. They'll just be out there on the shelf, bare.

I want the pastries at the grocery store covered up with a blanket. I shouldn't have to cope with such temptation. Even when I resist, the sight of them leads me to be gluttonous in my heart.

Those floozy men with their bowties and their suits, trying to lead all the ladies into sin.

So sorry for your bro, the relationship between depression/medication and sexuality should be researched for both genders.

Yay!! Anything that puts more viability on this is a WIN! If men routinely lost their ability to orgasm because of a medication there would be a team dedicated to solving it. Where's our team? For that matter, where's our team to build a better birth control?

I had a yearlong bet with my two roommates that we could go out 3x a week for free, using just our party crasher bravado and eventually, as the bet became known to friends and professors, the help of a few gifted invites from these people. I should be putting "Mad party crashing skillz" on my resume.

If I thought it would help, I would gleefully detail on my resume the specifics of that time when me and 4 friends set up a deal with each other where we would buy a gallon jug of Carlo Rossi sangria every week, with the stipulation that between the 5 of us, we had to finish the whole jug before it was time to buy the…

ALL THESE SPARSE EYEBROWS ARE RUINING EVERYTHING

I love this gif unconditionally. I want to bring it home to my mama and put a ring on it in June.

Ladies, I cannot stress enough how important a nice, tight casing is for your kielbasa. And if you aren't using the mustards I recommended, I will stop you and apply them myself.

I'm super not-down with polish week, but as long as Polish week means all the gulash, pierogies, and kielbasa I can eat, I am completely into it.

Yooooo... It's so funny when you see a bitch who tried to play you in public and she's just broke and raggedy

We need more of this:

I have no qualms about jumpsuits, but that jumpsuit has issues. It's looks like a wearable pelvic exam.

Okay, but can we talk about what's happening with that jumpsuit? Because I don't understand what's happening with that jumpsuit.

For sure. He should star in a modern reboot of Pirates of the Caribbean. POTC "Pitbull and the Quest for Booty".

If only there were a vaccine for this disease of a show.

I get awkward at Chipotle when they go off script. I just keep answering the standard questions like a confused robot.