OHMYGLOB. This exists in the world and I didn't know and now I do and my day just got loads better EEEEEEI! You are a good, kind, person Sorayapleiades.

Oh Lindy. While I technically knew there would be no actual manatees in the Cheryl Burke story, I clicked through anyway. Irrational manatee-hope is a powerful, powerful thing.

S'alright. I'm not writing cover lines for Vanity Fair, so I'mma give myself a pass.

Huh. "Most Eligible Infant". That's... creepy as fuck. Right? Not just me?

I have Grumpy Resting Face and I botox the hell out of my 11's (the frown lines between my eyes). I haven't necessarily noticed that it makes me happier; but it does change other people's responses to me. People being all, "OOOU. Are you OK? What happened? You look really mad." when I'm just hanging out, thinking…

This is making me all emotional-feelingsy for some reason. Like almost-tears with a hefty side of FUCK YEAH, and a dash of, "we wants it precious". So yes, would buy.

MY EYES. What is it? WHAT is it? Wait, who cares. Kill it. Kill it with fire.

Taylor Swift gets a kitty when she flies? All I get is a butt-aching seat and deeply uncomfortable conversations with strangers. And sometimes pretzels.

Like ziz!

I LOVE this game! Is it an extra toe? Or a pimple shaped like the head of an evil baby (that talks) right underneath her left boob? Or a COMPLETELY rotating face? (Just like Man-E-Faces, creepiest of all the He-Man action figures?)

Soulless day.... WHAT?!! You take it back CoffeePrincess. Take it back! *runs away cry-hiccuping*

You... you have a harem of ginger men? I like your style.

R. Kelly is being a total fucking terrible? NO! Not R. Kelly! My illusions. They are shattered.

There are TWO A Softer World strips this makes me think of. This one,

I love that "DUDE?! You kiss your mother with that mouth?" look that the first dog, Salli gives him.

Mr Li's pure-concentration game face is giving me SUCH FEELS.

TMZ has Salvador Dali on staff?

Ack! My feels! For me it's the part when she checks left and right for traffic. Bears are RAD. This is the reason I was a tiny bit disappointed when I read Lindy's earlier headline as "Woman Attacked by Moose and Bear". I was kind of hoping for an ass kicking Ursidea-Cervinae tag team. (Just a little bit? Because I am…

Would it be pathetic if the headline "Michael Cain Really Cares About You And Wants You To Be Happpy" made a person tear up a tiny bit? And be all, "I KNEW IT! I KNEW HE WOULD". Oh it IS pathetic? Nevermind.