So, composure, confidence. Got it. BUT what about those occasions when the tiny human you hang out with stands in the middle of a room yodeling their strudel? And your first (completely-inconceivable-unless-have-kids) response is to jam your cupped hands in the path of the tsunami of vomit? And then the kid starts…

I have nothing to say but dang. And that I own underwear that has slightly more coverage than those shorts. The '80s - a heady time for tiny tiny pants.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. My absolute condolences to you and your family. I can't image the heartbreak.
My twin brother also sustained a Traumatic Brain Injury, and while his recovery has been slow and he'll never be exactly "him" again; I am thankful for every damn breath he takes.
I also harass the world about…

Oh. My. In an attic somewhere there is a painting of Jeff Goldblum that is getting less totally bonable as time passes. Dang.

Should I feel guilty that everything* about this made me snicker? In kind of a mean way?

We don't need to! It's only lady-shapes that count.

These eyebrows! Can we talk about how average-looking humans (me) might get eyebrows to look like this? Pencil? Eyeshadow? The darkest of magics?

I'm no Instagram armpit hair expert (I barely scraped a BA. in it; to my family's abiding shame) but I THINK it might be a filter thing? Her armpit skin looks WAY overexposed and maybe that's bleaching out the hair colour too?

ding ding ding! This this this!

Bloody hell, lookit that! Brilliant link, thanks!

Best headline I've ever read. For actually.

The alien emerging from the phone is FOR-ACTUALLY nightmarish. Horrible, horrible, no good. Meep. I now need a juicebox and a hug.

This thread is my favorite, FAVORITE thing of the day.

Badass. When they say "Spurred on by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops these organizations are attempting to hold hostage all women" what they really mean is this:

Also from the Shailene Woodley interview,
"seriously - ask your taxi drivers where they are from and about their customs"
Apparently the chap she asked was "African".
That sounds less, "all kinds of great" and more, "wittless, priviledged, racist, douche".

I think I might be amenable to all kinds of Danny Trejo slightly-scary-dad advice. "Mr Trejo, should I go back to school? Can we talk about pensions? What do you think about the housing market?"

Did you have safefearch turned on? Because what I am imagining is... terrible. Am I...? AM I FILTHIER THAN THE INTERNETS? ohgod.

Susan Sarandon has some hella taste in art photography.

You probably should have started this comment with "How's it going? I'm Bill, this is Ted. We're from the future..."

I LOVE the Danny Trejo tweet for some reason. I will take your stern, slightly-scary-dad advice Mr Trejo. I will.