SEE!? I know right? Their tiny-fuzzy-berserker, stone-age-weapon-wielding, bad-ass-bravery gets me in the feels EVERY TIME. Yub motherfucking nub, little dudes.

Taylor Swift is on the forest moon of Endor? WHAT the dick? Where's MY Ewok, dammit?

I don't understand what a "quicherobbery" is. In other news, apparently I am now ONE MILLION earth-years old?

I co-sign the crap out of every single bit of this. Here is a sympathetic pat for you.

Joan Rivers is a garbagey garbage human. And is cordially invited to suck my fat one.

I... I don't hate these. Angry, satirical, baked goods are good baked goods.

Me too! And I am a ladyperson!

"Tuna Noodle Casserole".

Yay! Excellent tiny-human building! (And last go-round, you might not have been able to breastfeed; but I bet your brand new person didn't go hungry, so that's not flunking at all! A+'s all round for you!)

Well, now I want that too! Make it so, Internets!

Look! Look at the righteous side-eye that this sheep is giving Kim. Sheep! Why so judgy?

I don't know who Joshua Malina is, but I like the cut of his jib. Also, I like boat idioms!

That's GENIUS. I'm going to go see if I can find some right now.

I read that BRAIN Dissolvent Express. And I wasn't even a little bit put off. A good polish remover would totally be worth a little bit of brain dissolving.

Smashbox primer. It's like a magical potion that makes my lousy-makeup-application look less sucktastical. It's one million dollars though. Anybody tried the cheap E.L.F version?

Ironically, Mel did put a gun to her head.

Robert Pattinson and his dyed black hair are filming outside of my building right now. I have not seen his sparkly visage, but my dog is REALLY MAD about the trucks parked in her favourite place to poop. So, uh, that's a thing.

It was genuinely funny. Which, so confusing. I was all "What is this E Online? Are we having a moment here? Because it feels like we're having a moment".

Doh, I should have read this before I said the exact same thing!

This coat! It is so Derelicte!