I'm surprised Matheny's talking to the press about this. It's really not the Cardinal Way to air the ballclub's crusty laundry in public.

The Houston Astros have put in a trade offer due to Hank's peerless ability to take a dump in right field.

Who would think this was "bad"? I love it!! God Bless Madison Rising and God Bless America.

"New research from Pew shows that not only do three out of every four Amurricans born between 1973 and 1995 have ink . . ."

I know! Only the U.S. is allowed to have hubris! All of the hubris!

As a Canadian, you should be concerned about not being an American.

Those East German women are cuter than I remember.

But she really did meet Greg Oden

Fuck yeah, Blues. I cannot possibly tell you how greatful I am for this current management... Makes one truly think that this could be the year.

Actually the rumors are linked. When Weeden learned they were bringing in a younger QB in Manning to the organization, he knew it was time for him to leave.

Seriously, how did those Missouri football players deal with it? I know when I head into the locker room at my local gym, I always pull the fire alarm, to make sure that there are no gays in there while I'm taking my shower.

They're letting black people play basketball now too?

Patrick Kane's grandfather seems like a good guy.

Ok, but dad's gonna be really pissed when he finds out that's how you used his record player.

This being a "sneak peak" of his mask is like watching a preview of a movie that turns out to be the entire movie.

You know how northerners go into a blind panic and start dropping dead when the temperature hits 97 in the summer, and the southerners are outside working in pants in 110 with 80% humidity? It's like that, but in reverse.

Does this guy think he's going to have to play outside with this new shirt, or are locker rooms a lot colder than the rest of the stadium?

Would certainly explain why the Colts decided to stick with Chuck Pagano.

Kids are also Wade-ing, where they remove all the cartilage from their knees, only show up to 50% of the school days, and stay in class after all the other kids have left to argue grades.

Congratulations, Mr. Howard!