Flawless segue though.

It's enough to make a man choke on his harmonica.

I would just paint the whole thing orange so players knew to constantly be aware that they're playing a full-contact sport and they could be hit at any moment.

This was really a thinly veiled attempt to get my hands on those blueprints.

Any chance he could have ran down a flight of stairs to the pool instead of jumping off the balcony and dragging his body over there? Someone post the apartment's blueprint.

No thanks.

Any word on how big his next helmet will be?

What's your address?

where do you work? a soup kitchen!?

Oh man, you have to post this on every article about soccer for the next 4 years.

No need to be blunt!

Ping pong tables are cool.

yeah, but mo' money, mo' problems.

That's nothing to be embarrassed about!

I would wear one rollerblade for the rest of my life, and also put on another one. ONE is not a nickel.

Kindle all the way.

a helicopter ride over San Antonio would be truly breathtaking!

the militarization of Gawker.

I thought this was going to be about walking with Koko.

It doesn't have to be Old El Paso's cheese for them to blast you. If you like cheese, you get blasted. NQA!