Ah! The wooden spoon. With ya there.

I swung my trombone case around at an asshole in 6th grade who grabbed my awesome-cool-orange-plasticy coat and ripped it (trying to get me to pay attention to him or something) and I slammed him in the stomach with it. He cried and ran, dumb bully. The principal gave my shit the next day.
Years later on the train…

I know a guy who broke his ankle surfing at a Bad Brains show back in the old days. So, no—you're not weird.

I was thinking her sputterings were Leno-worthy, too. Can we shoot them both into the sun?

This is a wonderful idea. I'll bring the popcorn.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Honestly, she was amusing to a degree a million years ago, but this 'The Vacs gave my kid Autism' attention-grab is despicable.
I know someone who was acquainted with her and he was shilling for her Autism/AntiVaccination stance at one time on FB. I couldn't click 'IGNORE' fast enough.

The latter. Add musicians to that mix. Because it seems like all the young ones are livin' on that sweet sweet trust fund coin. And trying to act all street and slumming. Sigh.

In my world the Dream Job is Vanna's.
Seriously. She (now) just touches the letters and she has enough time to crochet and collect $$ for her yarn line (which I like, I admit it). The only downside is having to work with douchey Pat Sajak.

Old Navy Disposable Clothes! It's their thing.

I never trust anyone who didn't find her funny. DO NOT TRUST.

Yes! I always use butter, and some pseudo-healthy-eater types I know POOH POOH it (and it's organic farm butter, for crying out loud). They also use those fake sugar crap substitutes, so there's that.

Dad always had Scrapple or head cheese in the ever-bulging deli drawer in the fridge. Oh, those processed meats. They eventually were his downfall, but he was awesome and so were his sandwiches. :-)

That's hilarious. And spot-on.

THANK YOU, I still bring this image to mind when people mention hot dogs (even though I still have one every Summer so SHUT UPPPP). Sadly, many people don't remember this and think I made it up. PROOF!

That is a fabulous gif.

The shoemaker's children syndrome!

I have Corian and love it, actually. No need to refinish every few years, weight-specific for a 90+ year old Montgomery-Ward styled home, and befitting a neighborhood that, while awesome, granite is not going to get you any extra $$ at selling time.

Yup. Back in olden tymes, we had our agent send us faxes of the listings and we told him what we wanted to see. Zillow is the updated, even better version of that. Worked like a charm in both instances.

"It was like watching footage of people boarding the Titanic."
LOLLOLLOLLOL

Perhaps....Canada. Snow. Active lifestyles (requiring gear). Mudroom.