Pretty sure he's upset that Detroit 10s are LA 6s. 

It’s always tough to understand the context when Jim Irsay asks his players if they’re holding. 

Talk about dedication to his players, he went out and got CTE to show his solidarity

HEY WATCH IT, ASSHOLE! Sometimes we miss the playoffs altogether.

“There’s no other proper word besides ‘collusion’ for that.”

Mash Equilibrium

#SimpsonsClipforEverything

They’re already AFC South finalists!

“but this game was still up for grabs late in the 4th. “

Alabama’s win probability never dropped below 96% at any time in the 4th, and wasnt below 90% anytime after the first 10 minutes of the game or so. Scroll down a bit to find win probability here: http://www.espn.com/college-football/game/_/gameId/401032078

The Chargers are his football Kryptonite. Remember this gem from way back in the day?

Legitimately, how does this happen? Does anyone work in broadcasting here?  He’s speaking so fluidly as though he’s prepared, but the Mad Libs of players is all wrong. 

The College Football Playoffs should be 8 teams and fans should get to vote for the last two spots. This would be a good system with exactly zero flaws. I will not be taking questions. 

He and AP would be quite the 1-2 punch.

+1 Clam-dunk

Holy shit, hot sauce is baked into the bun?

Are the 3-D glasses distributed at the park, or do we need to bring them from home?

Having two of the best teams in the league, both of which are stocked with young stars, play on a field that could very easily lead to any number of those young stars being seriously injured seems like a self-evidently bad idea.

True, but there’s actually some more context here that wasn’t mentioned in the article that makes the “goal” extra-dumb:

If you can’t masturbate in a bar at 9:15AM in Vegas then where can you masturbate in a bar at 9:15AM at?