chelsea, it would've been so great if you left a piece of toilet paper dangling out of your crack.

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to some Halloween party with a girl from our dorm. The next morning, she comes walking up to the common area still in her eighties-prom outfit. We asked her where she ended up staying the night...she lifts up her dress to reveal her yellow thighs and says "Bart Simpson…

Yeah, they aren't bad for an old Russian dude.

We were alllllll thinking it!

Important update: Here's a photo of Ben with his fiancee. Everybody simmer down.

Apparently he copy pasted that message to a ton of women today. Shockingly it didnt end well.

Oh my God, is this guy God?????

This one even has sexy rubber gloves for sexy cleaning.

Sorry guys, there's a "sexy" everything!

We did it but it was the diciest encounter in our 20 year relationship. We were both in danger of throwing up from drunkenness the entire 3-5 minutes. Super unromantic

I CAN'T! YOU HAVE ANGERED THE KINJA GOD AND MUST PLACATE HIM WITH TOM HIDDLESTON GIFS AND A CAT VIDEO BEFORE THE LINK CAN BE FREED! HURRY NOW, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!

This is sweet little old lady for "Go fuck yourselves, smug internet pricks" and it is awesome.

That hair. That hair is manufactured by a beauty company whose research team is made up of galactic lionfish who found a 1974 issue of Vogue orbiting in a cloud of interstellar debris, and were inspired to go into the wig business for humans.

I don't know, if someone had told me that this is how the Miss America pageant has evolved, I might START watching it.

Finally, a Disney Princess post I give a damn about.

It was cold out that day

A computer for women, you say?