You just know there would be no checkpoints during the impossible 'scale the walls of a convent with a small child' level and you'd have to replay the unskippable cutscene encapsulating the history of the convent over and over.

What if it turned out he was just trying to recover a rare Gummi Venus de Milo?

I don't even own a TV! Or a computer! Or a data plan to access various websites that will post "can't miss" clips from this episode the next day! Or a non-hideous visage that will keep me from being kicked out of Starbucks and its free Wi-Fi!

For the Snark was a PenzeyMoog you see.

Except that Hollywood accounting means you never see a cent if you get paid as a percentage.

Do women know about shrinkage?

U Talkin' U-2 To Me?

I played with it as a kid but never asked for it or enjoyed it. Learning that it's German explains so much.

Spielbergo just tweeted Leni Riefenstahl's address.

Come on, you've had years to figure out what reddit is, now we need to figure out whatever the hell Periscope is.

She doesn't have the body type for a Hollywood lead role.

Why does this Newswire repeat all previous casting news for this season? Is GoT casting like a Biblical genealogy or something?

Are you one of those people who settles for each generation's boring Pidgey knockoff taking up a space in your party instead of finding the most bizarre Flying-type you can and wasting time and effort making it something other than dead weight in battle?

From a narrative point of view it makes sense to destroy the monolith because access to the portal to another planet whenever Daisy feels like opening it is too much of a game-changer for SHIELD right now. As a plot device, it would either temporarily turn the show into Stargate or else be conspicuous in not turning…

The Spectacular "When Will Then Be Now?"

The audio logs will be actual logs.

The A.V. Club

Google can sell everything! But when you try to buy private islands from them they remind you "Don't Be Evil," and really, what else are you supposed to do with a private island?

Dennis Duffy is going to be thrilled that time is cyclical after all.

Still trying to get through Fallout 2, getting a grip on it, but not really sucked in. I just fixed the power plant, became a Citizen, and got the car, though I resisted all the indications that I had to go to Vault City until got fed up with not making progress anywhere else. The boring character building is really…