There must be some sort of mistake. No pilot ever tests positive on NBC.

What’s this world coming to when you can’t believe a t-shirt anymore? Next, you’ll tell me my buddy at the bar ISN’T a female body inspector.

Doesn’t some langauge have a word for feeling joy at others’ failure?

I believe the German word is “Saskatchewan.”

Ladies and gentleman, that is the conclusion of overtime. The gold medal will now be decided by a shootout.

Challah!

i’m fucking dis custard

There does appear to be excess space between the panels.

Police left after discovering that “burglary” is just what Gronkowski calls a cookout.

you’d definitely have seen butler get far more use if they were the old england patriots

Me and my boy Gaear prefer the ones up in Brainerd.

Once at a bar I guessed a Wheel of Fortune puzzle (A Day In The Life By The Beatles) without a single letter.. What you are proposing would have made my greatest achivement impossible. How dare you?

Someone explain to me how a QB exploiting dogs in 2018 is okay, but it gets you 23 months in 2007.

I don’t understand the stigma this word has acquired. ‘Mentally retarded’ wasn’t born an insult, it wasn’t even derogatory, it was a polite way to refer to someone who in the old days would have been called an ‘idiot’ or an ‘imbecile’. This new term was a way to refer to a child whose peers were functioning at a…

Did you expect to Wagner to cite small comedian Kevin Hart 

This guy can also make grits in five minutes.

Moon’s attorney will undoubtedly claim that sleeping under the same blankets is entirely normal, with the hope Haskell’s attorney doesn’t know the best way to attack the cover-two defense is to split the seams. 

Pink Floyd tried to warn us about this dark side like forty years ago.

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile...

Holy cow, how sad. I didn’t know this about Byrne. It certainly bears mentioning in this case, since some of us are dragging him for an inadequate response.

Revenge is a dish best served Gould.