It was written for the 2008 election, but David Sedaris put it best: you’re on a plane and told that your meal options are chicken, or a plate of shit with bits of broken glass in it. To be an undecided voter at this point is to ask how the chicken is cooked.

Or buy up hundreds of dvds and blu-rays to use as skeet-shooting targets.

They both challenge people to push-up contests, but only one of them wins.

The idea of anyone being undecided at this point in time is ridiculous. However it’s always good to see people speaking up.

At this point anyone who claims the be an ‘undecided voter’ ought to be given the same cognitive decline test that Trump struggled to get through.

I remember you from such educational films as “Lead: Delicious But Deadly” and “Here Comes The Metric System”!

“The William Murray Golf Company” sounds like some people who just spilled a lot of oil into the ocean.

The is the first one of these to make me laugh since I was a little kid laughing at Yakov’s funny accent more than the words he was saying. 

I think you’ll find Murray’s lawyer has already used your puns.

Let’s all just agree that all three sports fall into the category of “sports more fun to play when drunk” and move on. 

I don’t get it. Why the fuck would anyone think it’s okay to use a song in an advert and not pay for it? What’s the thinking here?

Some time between Lost in Translation and Broken Flowers.

In Soviet advertising, Bill pays you!

I’m not going to say it’s at the level of soccer or anything, but bowling does require some degree of athleticism. To that affect, bocce requires less athleticism than bowling. You ever see a 90 year old man throwing a 16 pound bocce ball while swing his leg out like a baseball pitcher?

Bowling? Nuh-uh. It’s darts. A sport where you can actually compete in a tournament with a beer in one hand.

He’s been old for a while, it’s only because he’s got that old man rooster neck thing going in that picture that you really start to notice it.

Money’s also a purely social construct.  It still matters.

No, race does not determine voice. It’s an incredibly racist thing to suggest otherwise. Culture determines voice.

Because he’s Icelandic, not African-American. The rationale for making this change just seems off as applied to Carl; it made at least a modicum of sense as applied to Dr. Hibbert or Lou.