Come on, you know the answer to that...he turned himself in to a swan and he’s fucking a bull or something.

Isn’t that what got Onan in such trouble in the first place?

Billy Bush being a computer generated avatar...I could totally believe that. It’s actually the only explanation that makes sense.

As real as it gets. Not “real” in the sense of “accurate,” but in the sense of “existing in our world.” I especially love that there are 3 steps connecting Hillary and Bill Clinton...I can’t help but think that connection could have been made in a more efficient way.

That’s actually grosser than a real dick pic would have been.

AND TWINS!

This relates to nice things and our inability to possess them.

Simultaneously, they managed to get one of Soundgarden’s lesser known songs to act as their lawyer...which is weirdly appropriate now, because seriously, hard headed fuck them all.

Next you’re going to tell me that Joe the Plumber wasn’t actually a plumber, and that The Undertaker isn’t actually dead.

Because he’s all Christian and so...God...and stuff.

The very definition of damning with faint praise.

True. “Hold my cocaine,” on the other hand, seems reasonable.

It’s a shame that he had to stop. After 3 days you unlock the nude code.

By comparison, Pence is significantly more competent and rational.

“Ahura Mazada....what a wonderful phrase!”

He figured he’d make those people really happy just so the Rapture today would suck even more by comparison. He’s kind of a douchebag.

At least Avenged Sevenfold is still around. I haven’t seen Reposted Daily Mail yet.

3 points of importance here:

Nothing interestingly stupid that we know of, anyway...

Actually, it’s true that Irma and Harvey were direct messages from Yahweh. By sheer coincidence, global climate change created Jose and Katia at the same time. The Big Guy Upstairs had nothing to do with those, and BOY GOLLY, is he embarrassed.