This is some Cask of Amontillado shit right there.

The kid called his mom a ‘complete bitch’. Eli had to look up what ‘complete’ meant.

The best online bracket name I’ve ever seen was “You say Tomato, Snoop says Tom Izzo”

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

My suggestion: Death penalty for all 4 Boston area teams.

Kawhi laughs like a guy who’s attempting to do so for the first time after skimming a WikiHow article. 

In my perfect fantasy future, Nuremberg-like trials are held and everyone in the administration and most of the congressional GOP leadership are thrown in prison.

The Vikings are responsible for two of the greatest moments in Falcons history.

Oh man, I really hope he tweets that athletes shouldn’t kneel during the anthem so I can accuse people with bad anthem takes of being Ahmadinejad supporters.

I can’t wait tilde next time they meet

Well obviously the leftist needed the practice. 

“You don’t prop his lifeless corpse up on the couch and tell the kids it’s fine!”

I don’t think this is that big of a deal. Now if people are threatening his life (I’m sure somebody has by now) then that guy has gone too far. But I don’t think that by yelling “You suck” you are quite as bad as a 17 year old who shit posts the N-word. And to compare this to a person rebuilding their life after…

While Dianne Feinstein may be a reliable source, it’s probably better to verify with KatyPerrysBootyHole just to be sure before tweeting it out.

Who cares? Fuck you.

This comment section is going to rule.

Welcome to Deadspin, Mr. Markakis.

I couldn’t stand Mitt Romney in 2012. Now he seems like a kind and wise man who just has political views that differ from mine.

So someone who didn’t particularly like Trump but thought his platform might be better for the moribund economy