Suppose, in society’s unquenchable thirst for commodification no matter how excessive, even the air we breathe gets commodified and tied to a company. So now there’s literally a company brand behind air, holding a monopoly over that most critical resource. And then that company says the commander-in-thief is bad. Do…

He threw for only 145 yards all game in that Super Bowl against the Rams. Not 145 yards in one quarter or one half—the entire game. Seven of the Patriots’ points came from an interception return touchdown from Ty Law; they won that game by three points. And Brady was awarded Super Bowl MVP. That’s bullshit.

Tom Brady already proved this with the 2001 Patriots. Fucker “led” the offense to an average of only 13(!) points per game that postseason, but got bailed out by the defense and special teams.

Midwesterners are weird.

In 2013 I thought Kaepernick was some clueless douchebro who belonged only on the set of Jersey Shore as an extra. I also thought that the United States had a president who was an intelligent, good-hearted family man who was an excellent public speaker. How things can change in four years.

Covered in shit and half-digested (if even that) pasta, you mean.

I read the entirety of Order of the Phoenix from the evening of New Year’s Eve to the wee early hours of New Years Day in 2004/2005.

Why is the Krabby Patty not on the list of fictional foods? Plankton wouldn’t harbor that deep, unhealthy obsession with obtaining its secret formula if it wasn’t delicious.

Guys watching pregnant women porn online, muttering to themselves, “yeah, knock that fetus in the forehead with yo dick”. No, their skulls aren’t formed yet and that’s dangerous.

The Chargers’ stadiums have also been taken over by Cowboys fans, Packers fans, Falcons fans, Broncos fans, Seahawks fans, Patriots fans, Saints fans, Bears fans, even Texans fans.

Huh? The video doesn’t contradict anything he said.

Fuck, this is awkward.

Voter suppression is indeed a problem, one that we must work to eradicate. But let’s keep some things in mind here:

I mean, imagine if you were John McCain and heard about this that year, and realizing “Holy shit, I can’t even get the votes of THOSE folks?!”

There’s an anecdote that some Obama canvassers were knocking on doors in that part of western Pennsylvania in 2008, and one exchange with a white couple went like this:

Used to be that Philadelphia would be a blue speck in the southeastern corner of the state, while the suburbs would be red, and Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas would be blue in the southwestern corner. The areas surrounding Pittsburgh turned red after the Clinton years, but that was counterbalanced by the Philly…

Let’s just go ahead and get the inevitable angry-white responses out of the way.

The Venn diagram of people who say “You have to respect the president” in reference to 45 and people who did not respect President Obama is a single circle.

He probably didn’t say that quote.

This is the “Why isn’t there a WHITE History Month?” of sports.