one offhand Seinfeld comment from 20 years ago and everybodies down on baths. pffft, if you didn't just run 20 miles in the height of summer, using only shit for sunscreen, I'm sure a bath is more than sufficient to clean you to any standard of hygiene you prefer.

who exactly are these people who want to read an autobiography of Morrissey, but are made uncomfortable by fleeting descriptions of homosexuality???

Actual Italy: limited breadsticks.

eating Lebanese makes me feel like I'm king of the world.

I remember once living near a Taco Bell/KFC combo. there ain't nuthin' like ordering a side of nacho cheese to dip you chicken leg into.

I would rather not play video games than be forbidden from swearing to myself while playing video games. that is how integral swearing is to my gaming experience. had I not had the option of saying things like "fuckbitchsonuvamotherfuckershitcunt!!!!" while playing Mega Man games on my NES, I would have smashed the…

I remember them being advertized in toy catalogs and kids magazines toward the end of those things being relevant to me. I believe they are meant for those horrible Totinos pizzas.

TO BE FAIR… Taco Bell serves "Mexican pizza", so why shouldn't Olive Garden serve Italian nachos, just for verisimilitude's sake?

you would be unwise to look forward to that.

I was tempted to include one of those in my little core-sample below, just for shits and giggles.

okay, wanting to dumb your menu down enough that kids and the so—hopelessly-provincial-that-even-Italian-food-is-too-exotic is one thing, but… DID PIZZA REALLY NOT OCCUR TO THEM?!

ANCIENT CONQUEROR NERD FIGHT!!!

way to kick Vin Diesel when he's down, Halle.

just a few ferinstances:

that looks more pirate than sailor. I mean, not that pirates aren't sailors, or that pirates don't curse, but it just seems like an unnecessary and distracting bit of elaboration to choose an picture of a pirate to represent sailors.

http://www.theonion.com/art…

Best Onion Headline of the Year:

so what you're telling me is that html frames are the new ironic retro trend?

some folk say he was 74. others'll tell you he was 5 and a half.

I like it. mostly for the sketches (which are fantastic), but none of the rest turns me off.