themutantpope
TheMutantPope
themutantpope

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

He meant “aides.” A cure for aides like John Bolton.

For a world with only blind people it seems to be a very visual based culture.

That looks laughably bad.

Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, ‘I have a good team.’”

Not so much “set the tone” as harmonized with the tone that has resonated through this franchise for decades. 

Congratulations to the New England Patriots on winning the AFC East before they’ve even taken a snap in the season.

“Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season.”

Sounds more like he was Voluntold to leave.

It could be a coincidence, but I think it’s all kayfabe.

Much like all good colts who have suffered injuries, Andrew Luck will retire to a lovely farm upstate.

* grabs shotgun *

* takes Luck out back *

I guess you could say Indy's luck has........run out.

Dearest Mother,

Nope, very wet brain, but otherwise arid to the point of being desiccated.

Am I the only one who watches that video and thinks that the guy racing the fridge is in on the gag?

I’m hoping someone eventually brings Uncle Ben back as a rice themed supervillain. 

Impossible, the squirrel lost a finger when a member of the crowd tried to assassinate him the first night. The second night? Same lost finger.

Two squirrels in a row. Tomorrow's game will be invaded by a gray squirrel