Absolutely. We could potentially get a fake presidential dick pic at a press briefing, and fact checkers will do the unimaginable work of finding which male porn star’s penis they’re trying to pass off as his own, all while Hannity spends hours breaking down male genitalia.

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

The hardest part was separating the suspect undocumented alien from their children due to a strong symbiotic connection involving tentacles. 

At least they probably won’t have to worry about him missing a critical kick in playoff game.

When you have to bring in Blair Walsh as an upgrade...

Kicking’s brutal. It’s the most nakedly binary aspect of football.

Um, I’m pretty sure stealing a QBing job was the central plot of the original Ace Ventura film.

NEW rule?

You can’t “steal” a QBing job. You win it through hard work. It’s not like it’s a crab leg.

I could not breathe for a couple of seconds when I saw that picture of him. Fitzpatrick was already entertaining more on the field than Winston ever did, but now he is also doing stuff like this off-field?

He looks like Conor McGregor after a month at sea.

By one minute, Daaaaamn Gina. You beat me by one minute while I scanned google images for a good match.

Nice of the team to let Homeless Conor McGregor answer some questions.

He clearly violated the new rule against tackling the quarterback.

 no one Vikes that

My state is one of those where 60+% of the legislative power is held by less than half the electorate. So, if by “your state” you mean the people who’ve set it up so that half my neighbor’s votes count for less, then you’re right. But they don’t represent most of us.

The good thing about Packers fans is that you only have to listen to their gloating for an average of 45 years before the cheese finally does them in and their hearts explode.  

This Peterman fellow is selling his merchandise online, you say?

He didn’t even linger on top of Foles for a second after making the tackle.  Not even enough time to kinda reach down and see if the rumors are true, not even just a little graze along the inner thigh, just to see, nothing weird, but just a brush with the back of the hand to see if you can feel something alive; like I…

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