…but is still not quite strong enough to blot out the memory of the Rock's utterly atrocious "performance"….love the man now, but damn that was some miserably bad shit.

Saw that shit in theaters….more than once. I was a dumb teenager, and there is no excuse. The first one, however, is still one if my favorite pieces of schlock *ever*.

I really wanted to make an "Apparently, he had a *very* good time" joke about something in this movie/review, but apparently the whole thing was so dull that I can't even find a way to make it work. Siiiiiigh.

And oh, what an ending….oh, what a "holy fuck you really wanted this to be the next Gone Girl but even the ending of that book was staggeringly idiotic so maybe you should have picked a different book to rip off" ending.

Not just Monica Belluci…Monica Belluci tearing someone's throat open with a knife fan. Such a weird fucking movie (bone chain sword, anyone?), but I do love it.

I'm really ashamed that it took me a solid thirty seconds to remember that scene from Tombstone…One of my favorite movies, and I forget…Shameful. Just Shameful.

"Definitely not like a whore, baby….definitely not like a whore."

"The Solara is not amphibious, my sweet semitic treasure!"

No mention of the only episode produced by the Gay/Jewish Media conspiracy? For shame. And not calling out Rapture's Delight, episode with the greatest final joke of all? Double shame.

Jungle level in Diablo 2; fuck those little Pygmy fuckers with their giant fucking knives and their fire breathing one-shots and checkpoints buried in the back end of fucking nowhere and the goddamn blizzard mages in the village at the end…lemme be a fire sorcereress so I can burn the whole fucking jungle down, please

Cheesy and ridiculous as it was, I will always have a huge soft spot for the Stephen Sommers version ("Apparently, he had a *very* good time"). This just looks like another grimdark remake, and (as mentioned on The Verge, I believe) like a rather lousy Mission: Impossible rip-off.

So, this finale finally confirmed for me a growing feeling I've had about the season as a whole, one that connects to some of Jonathan Nolan's earlier work.

The most profound and edifying of responses. I thank you, wise sir or madame.

Am….am I the only person here who felt kinda….completely let down by all this? I mean, say what you want about BSG (and I know there are plenty of you who love to rag on it) but….fuck, that show said more about the nature of consciousness and humanity in one scene than this show has in a whole season. Granted, maybe…

I love that the guy who did the voice of Gaston in the original never did anything else (as far as I can tell from IMDb) again; did Gaston, did that one song…mic drop. Can't say I blame him.

Now that wacky old coot is Belle's father…

You, sir, have a future in film-making.

Um, spoilers? Gawd….

….pretty sure that Jew dropping has been illegal for a good long while…

So, last shot of the show: Throne Room in King's Landing. Dany, dead on the ground, struck down by Jon for going all Mad King Volume 3 on Westeros. Jon, slowly bleeding out from the fight. Everyone else dead around them. Cut to a pair of feet, walking through the carnage. Pan up to see Lyanna Mormont, casually…