Did he kill it?  Because if not, that shrimp was uncomfortably close to his groin area.

My wife didn’t want to see LOTR so I never went to see any of them.  She also doesn’t want to watch them at home, so the Costco DVD box set has been gathering dust for like 10 years.

Like with everything else in America, officials are desperate to evade personal responsibility.  If someone causes a collision resulting in injury or death and they are intoxicated, throw the damn book at them.  Lengthy prison sentence.  Civil forfeiture of multiple assets.  You kill someone while drunk, you go to…

Mets fan here, I remember looking at Brewers games that year thinking “That guy’s starting AGAIN?!!” in disbelief. And more so when he turned in another gem.

Growing up in 70s NYC, the only Yankees fans I knew who weren’t also Cowboys fans rooted for the Dolphins or Raiders.  Oddly, never Pittsburgh.

The Yankees sign DJ LeMahieu and he becomes an MVP candidate. The Mets sign Jed Lowrie, essentially the same player, and, well...

I think that sentence applies a lot more accurately to supporters of Warren or Sanders or any of the lefty crackpots. “I’m a single mom with three kids and I can’t pay my rent on a McDonald’s paycheck.  Gimme stuff!”

That’s when you just join in the conversation, spouting nonsense.

Proud of her country “for the first time”.  I guess she had it rough before then, what with the free education and racialist sinecure.

It’s not quite what you described, but there was an 18-issue series called “Deadly Foes Of Spider-Man” you should seek out. It centered on a bunch of C-level bad guys trying to make something of themselves, encountering real-life difficulties as well as intergroup struggles, constantly losing and doing dumb shit. It…

Roman Polanski gets a standing ovation from the Hollywood d-bags. If your politics are correct, you (usually) get a pass. In the immortal words of that brilliant sage Whoopi Goldberg, “It wasn’t rape rape.”

It was loopy, but you just described Gotham.

Yeah, how the hell did this come out?!

New York Envy. So close, yet so inferior.

Last game of the season at Citifield a few years ago they had a clearance sale at the “Game-Used” section.  I thought it would be fun to buy uniform pants for $25 and a batting helmet for like 20, and wear them to games.  Fortunately my wife was there, and sober.  She said she would no longer attend games with my were…

There is explosive diarrhea, and then there is Old German diarrhea. We bought a bunch of cases for like $4 each in college many years ago and we had to use neighbors’ toilets because the 1 bowl in my house was not sufficient for the 9 guys who lived there.

I spend 3 hours a night 4 or 5 times a week with the Mets.  I’m more attached to them than most players actually on the team, as well as the dopey Dodger fan owner.  I don’t say “we” consciously.  It’s just organic.

Yeah, because the people in Guantanamo are wonderful and deserve all the niceties.

Uh, don’t all the division winners go to the playoffs?

I had Grogan, Eason, and Flutie. Flutie did play for them, didn’t he?