SNL? Man, that show isn’t nearly as good as it was during [insert era in which I was younger, had a more positive outlook on life, and was long enough ago that my nostalgia filters out only the good memories].

The shocking thing is how much it resembles the acceptance speech from last year’s AKC Best in Show.

What does this photo of a nice lesbian couple have to do with the original comment?

Luckily, evidence shows that MLS and US Soccer are NOT in fact serious about improving soccer in the US.

Look, I can’t believe Hartford had a team to begin with. And I lived through that period.

Huh. It’s almost like human feelings are...nuanced.

The United States government.

Raping a bad guy in retaliation for him raping someone else doesn’t even the score at Good Guys 1- Bad Guys 1. It makes it Rape 2, Civilization 0.

While he hasn’t sat out with any specific injuries, he certainly has been playing on the offensive line with a real pain in the neck these past few years.

I think they mean that McMahon may give more control of WWE to Triple H if McMahon ends up spending more time on football. He’s the heir apparent for that, and a lot of fans enjoy the stuff he oversees (like their developmental roster) more than the stuff that Vince is focusing on.

The subtext is obvious but it’s worth spelling out that “family-friendly” here is a dogwhistle for “you won’t have to explain to your kids that a professional athlete is upset that unarmed black people are getting murdered by police, in the very unlikely event they even noticed the brief protest to begin with”. Christ.

Yeah. I never hear “My Country, ‘Tis Of Thee” before Premier League games.

I assume we can look forward to Penn State erecting a statue in honor of Simon soon.

I mean, the judge in the Stanford swimmer rape judge let the culprit off easy. That’s why they’re judges – they get quite a bit of leeway in sentencing (leeway that has legal bounds but is still largely subjective).

Oh, fuck you.

This is the hill you choose to fight on??

I’m pretty sure everyone is starting to hate Kevin Durant so, in a sense, he’s right.

My Next Chapter II, Joining the National Basketball Referees Association - by Kevin Durant.

Tennys is from Tennessee and plays tennis.

When I become a dad, dad rock will be things like Tool, Nine Inch Nails, RATM, KORN, Third Eye Blind (hell yeah), Deftones, not that bullshit glamour “metal”. I will drive them to kindergarten every morning and they’re going to be so goddamn amped up from the music that they’ll punch a fucking hole through their…