In all seriousness: my wife and I lost our first child to a miscarriage around 9 weeks in. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, and I was a zombie for a week, crying all the time. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a child you thought was healthy that close to the end. Absolutely awful.

Needs moar stars.

Fake trees are the best. We bought a $350 last summer for $200 and will have that gorgeous tree for the rest of our lives.

Damn these old contact lenses of mine, making my eyes so watery...

Bah Gawd whatta comment!

Hahahaha that last paragraph has me just dying here. Thank you so much.

Unemployment is treating you nicely, Bill.

If you’d watched any of that game at all, you’d know that the Broncos defense didn’t cost their team shit all game.

That was absolutely stupid. The Broncos offense is also absolutely stupid, so I think he was just trying to get to their level.

Hotter take: people who throw with their right hand USUALLY catch things with their left, i.e. baseball players. This is not exceptional.

Wait wait wait - a player taken 1st overall who couldn’t get on the field for a TERRIBLE team until the season was over and is a laughingstock made a... BAD DECISION!??!

Think about all the paychecks those players are giving up on...

Good for them to be a little entertaining, but truth be told: I can’t remember the last time I paid attention to a flight attendant doing their thing. They don’t make you take off your headphones if it’s plugged into your phone, so I literally sit down and zone out until the wheels hit the ground.

No shit. The only thing close to being worse than people dying is people pretending that a numerical value that indicates the current year has anything to do with it.

Ask Atlanta how they feel about losing a hockey franchise.

No shit. That sentence is the thing a bad undercover cop would say to people to convince them he wasn’t a cop.

This is an awful lot of words that should just say “find a better bar”.

That was exactly what it was, knee-hunting, and you’re a fucking idiot and a liar if you are pretending it wasn’t out of some spite against Talib/Harris Jr/Broncos.

Whoever shot them has NO REGARD for the rules of engagement. SMDH.

Relax. And be sure to teach your kid, who’ll be just fine, to learn the proper sail/sale to use.