Only the international Deadspin knock-offs.

He violated another unwritten rule that says “be sure to never violate the unwritten rules”.

Wouldn’t having your mouth open just break your jaw instead? I’ll take the bit-lip I guess.

Shit, this is LAX BRO... you know it’s Blyaek. Or is it BlååΩ#ek?

This is one of the great moments in the history of baseball!

Me being cautious with my kid in the car lasted about 4 weeks.

I believe that’s Kiki’s neice, FYI.

“Makes sense, as both Budweiser and America are being pissed away as we watch.”

This is all I could think of.

Great story and great for them, a fantastic team... and so glad Spurs Spurs’d.

+1 Pellegrini

I am very much not following what you’re putting down, here. What are you talking about?

The fact that no one on his team really seems to defend #17 tells me a lot.

MAN FUCK YOU MAN AND YOUR LOGICAL THINKING!!!!

I love that guy too. Glad we can share that.

Joke Truthers are the fucking worst. Did you at any point while writing this use your index finger to push the bridge of your glasses up your nose?

I think at this point they’d settle for him to just have Bruce Banner’s muscles.

Forgive all of us for not going down to the local courthouse to read the statements and only knowing about it when broadcast on TV. What fools we are.

Counterpoint: Decent people don’t choke their pregnant partner, ever, no matter what the situation.

So excited for Rio this year!