There is only one acceptable outcome here. Right before McGregor gets knocked unconscious, he forgets it’s a boxing match and kicks Mayweather in the head knocking him out.

Don’t you “ummmm” at me, you little turd. I was referring to the Knicks, the team that this article is written about.

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

What an idiot. Dude leaves the Bulls and then wants beef.

So Dan owns the Cavaliers, and I would say, I guess you can’t say great season, right? Good season.

“Anyway, that’s what’s going on at the White House today.”

dude’s legs look two pissed off aliens that aren’t on speaking terms at the moment.

Come on, the Clippers at least got some useful role-player guys (OK, maybe one useful one), whereas the Bulls got a few packs of gum and a box set of the third season of Friends (on DVD).

The Bulls may have the worst culture in the NBA, but the worst culture in all of sports can be found in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ locker room.

Oh yeah, it’s a blast.

He still goes home to Kate Upton.

I’ve never heard of any of the players you mentioned.

“man, if I had a chin for every tired excuse I hear I would have about the same amount of chins”

Why would soccer not count?

Whenever we get Ronaldo, a mirror, and a microphone on stage at the same time.

OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…

unless, of course, you are a Nets fan

I’m assuming a sowing needle is used for planting seeds.

I’d rather smell of patchouli than be raped.

He would deflate them if he could.