Nah, we were still lighting up during the parade and you saw what kind of damage we still did.

Sounds close to my experience. My best friend and I had to choose between Super Mario Bros or Jurassic Park. We chose...poorly.

what do you expect from a guy who married his own daughter

I respectfully disagree. It all still sounds great to me.

Well, I’m sure they didn’t know she was seventeen. Doesn’t excuse the comment whatsoever, it’s an offensive thing to say about anyone of any age, not to mention particularly creepy considering it’s a seventeen, but, again, I’m sure he just didn’t know that she was a mi-

If it gets people to click and watch the 40 second video, maybe it leads to an arrest. I’m okay with that.

Shorter you:

Prediction: Pita will be disqualified from the Games after he tests positive for IcyHot.

Experts predict they’ll have a fully functioning IPA in the next 6-12 months.

Maybe she would have. That said, have you ever seen the results of a car trapped between two semis? Go step on an empty soda can and you’ll get the idea.

File lawsuit, lawyers get huge percentage of large settlement, you get a check for $1.50 7 years later. I’ve for better things to do. Glad I didn’t get an early model.

Hopefully they get this right. The devil is in the details after all.

Yeah, I don’t really need to see how Han Solo became a middle-aged failure day-drinking in a shitty bar. Pretty sure I can intuit that all on my own.

I’m going to get so roasted for this! I meant Eddie Brock! I SWEAR! I have no fucking clue why I said Brock Turner.

Especially because the symbiote loves/hates Peter in a jealous spurned ex kind of way and that’s the reason it chooses Brock Fucking Turner in the first places—they have something in common!

You can just say Kevin Smith.

If you’re going to loot a gas station, do it right.

I thought the Tetris movie was supposed to be about gods and how they toy with mortal lives?