Spaaaaaaaaa daaaaaayyyyyyy!

It would be really funny if the back of the ticket actually said "you're a fucking moron."

I think he was significantly more lucid during his “America’s Mayor” phase.

I clicked on the picture (blurred 'cause yer in the greys) fully expecting it to be a monkey shitting into its own hand. Turns out it was a monkey shitting into its own pants. 

I think NFL broadcasters SEVERELY underestimate the knowledge and intelligence of the average NFL fan. There’s a reason Romo is so popular (and Witten sucked SO badly)—we don’t want dummies just spouting aphorisms and making obvious observations. Give us some real X and O talk. Give us some real insight into the game.…

The O-Line has been better the last 2-3 weeks. Tunsil was *very* expensive, but a left tackle should cost you. They've got a looooooooo(inhale)oooooooong way to go, but they're better than they were week 1 of the preseason and by the end of this season, will be much better than they were at the end of last season. 

As a Texans fan (there are literally tens of us!), I sat through Dave Ragone, Matt Leinart, Tony Banks, Brock Osweiler, Sage Rosenfels, Ryan Mallett, Brandon Weeden, Bryan Hoyer, Tom Savage, TJ Yates, David Carr, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Case Keenum, and Matt Schaub.

Tough but fair. 

I actually like this one more than I did Star Wars or Schmilco.

@PatDStat: Then the Texans did their job then right? I mean holding a NFL team to no hits is tough to do. Trying to downplay seems odd. How well the O protected today should not go unnoticed. https://t.co/0ASV0xbZEY

100% Trump thinks "impeachment" means "removal from office." No question. 

“My theory is that Pence is deeper than he lets on”

As long as that turtle-ass-lookin’ motherfucker is in charge of the Senate, removal is absolutely not happening.

The Republican president: colossally stupid.

@PatDStat: Attention…..

I swear to God I once heard John Madden unironically say, “To win the game, you’ve gotta score more points than the other team.”

Nah, I’m good, friend.

Does it matter?

I feel the same way. It is far and away my favorite sport. I would rather watch football than any other competition.

I feel certain there’s a “you’re a fucking moron if you go on the field, so we’re responsible for nothing”* clause.