Wait, wait, wait.

This article should be reposted somewhere under a more vague header, so as to attract more readers. I vote for The Trouble With Modern Branding.

But Trayvon Martin is a thug and George Zimmerman is a good, law abiding citizen who exercises his second amendment rights responsibly.

George Zimmerman is walking, breathing proof that you can get away with anything in this country, so long as you only aim your crimes at people with fewer socioeconomic privileges.

Mmm...ribbon candy!

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

level: expert pro

i have done a billion fucking dumb shit things but i just wanna start with the fact that i have cut myself pretty excellently with a plastic butter knife.

It's like a magic carpet with teeth. Shark teeth.

"Sorry, I thought you were black."

No, they can't. Seriously, here in Ohio when the first flake drifts down from the sky, you'd think we were in the tropics and the Snowpocalypse was up on us. People skidding out on the freeway, SUV's in ditches and more fender benders than you can shake an attorney at.

The Swedish believe they invented something new with their "crossover sedan". Would you agree?