If Bed, Bath and Beyond wants me to continue shopping there, they'll give me the option of having paper and/or email receipts. Macy's does that, and it rocks.

I can only assume that those excerpts show that The Kels is writing in character as Dr. Frasier Crane.

If you ever want to see two of the most beautiful people in the world (Dylan McDermott and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) pretend to be in love, check out "The Mistress of Spices."

I got a free 1-yr subscription to Vogue when I bought an Olay bath and shower gift set last year. The Olay stuff smelled gross so I tossed it (that's $7.95 I'll never get back) and I don't think I flipped through more than 2 issues of the magazine, because I found it vapid and boring. Oh, well.

The woman on the left looks weirdly like Julie Bowen, which makes me think this is a bit of "Modern Family" viral marketing.

But . . . but . . . you're talking about a SAINT. The church conferred sainthood on this guy, so all this nonsense about him allowing his minions to cover up cases of child rapin' clergy must be pure bullshit.

I can't wait to watch True Tori tonight - I was preoccupied with the DWTS finale and whether Meryl and Maks would finally just DO IT (kiss) in front of everyone.

Also: water is wet.

I knew a celebrity (minor, but good name recognition) who always booked the cheapest flights for himself and his wife. When they would get to the check-in or boarding gate, his wife would make a point of telling the agent that Mr. Good Name Recognition was traveling and it would be great if they could both be…

I love New Jersey (my proposed motto: The middle part doesn't actually smell™) but man, they don't make it easy.

I've been masturbating since I was around 10 years old, and have always found it a great way to get to sleep, relieve menstrual cramps or just have some fun. I remember being mortified in Hygiene (health) class in junior year of high school, though.