I give it 2 out of 5 “meh”. I chuckled once when Superman said “I’m an alien. You people all look the same.”

It is because they are skinny, pretty, and white.

To be turned into soylent, you have to be people first.

I too am voting for Clinton just because she is a woman. That is totally an okay reason.

Meh. That would imply that cops and other law enforcement officials are somehow profiting off of keeping prisons full and is the reason why stories like this exist. Problem is they do not profit off of keeping prisons full. Quotas are a myth and they do not get an Xmas bonus for busting X amount of people.

Would you rather the title say “old white man” instead and it being totally false?

White men. White men are always guilty. Especially if they have a lot of money.

I am disappointed that there is not an upskirt shot in this article. No sale.

I got the idea from a friend whose father would go to Sam’s to buy those huge boxes of like 86 count single ply toilet paper rolls. He always felt awkward just buying the box and nothing else, so he would also grab a huge tub of local beef jerky they also sold. My friend would be like, “Dad, that actually makes it…

You magnificent bastard.

This movie was already made back in 1997, and it was hilarious.

They already did make the movie Elvis Meets Nixon, and it was hilarious.

Back when I was still married, I would be tasked with buying my wife’s feminine products. I would grab all she need and also buy a canister of Slim Jims and hand sanitizer. At the checkout I would wink at the cashier and mention that it is going to be a wild night tonight.

Actual picture of Customs searching the vehicle:

Should have used purple duct tape and disguised them as a shipment of slightly used dildos. Probably would not have gone through them and found them out.

At first I thought you were going to say you were on American Idol. Anywho what was the gig? Anything we have heard of?

Boo... Hiss...

I love how your single comment is more to the point than all these recent Gawker anti-lotto articles.

Please tell me the parasol is black.

Seems like they are trying to make a better version of Caitlyn, which makes me sad, because Cait is my first ADC.