White men. White men are always guilty. Especially if they have a lot of money.

I am disappointed that there is not an upskirt shot in this article. No sale.

I got the idea from a friend whose father would go to Sam’s to buy those huge boxes of like 86 count single ply toilet paper rolls. He always felt awkward just buying the box and nothing else, so he would also grab a huge tub of local beef jerky they also sold. My friend would be like, “Dad, that actually makes it…

Then why do you like Cloverfield? Trolololol...

But according to Gawker, you are more likely to get sick eating at Chipotle than win the Powerball jackpot. Think about that for a minute.

You magnificent bastard.

So Obama isn’t actually coming for our guns but instead is coming for our cars. The whole gun thing is actually a diversion. Crafty.

This movie was already made back in 1997, and it was hilarious.

They already did make the movie Elvis Meets Nixon, and it was hilarious.

IKR? Where are the dragon’s teeth, sea mines, and those big steel caltrop things.

Back when I was still married, I would be tasked with buying my wife’s feminine products. I would grab all she need and also buy a canister of Slim Jims and hand sanitizer. At the checkout I would wink at the cashier and mention that it is going to be a wild night tonight.

Actual picture of Customs searching the vehicle:

Should have used purple duct tape and disguised them as a shipment of slightly used dildos. Probably would not have gone through them and found them out.

At first I thought you were going to say you were on American Idol. Anywho what was the gig? Anything we have heard of?

Boo... Hiss...

Because you never know when someone might try to steal your wallet out in space. Damn space bandits.

I love how your single comment is more to the point than all these recent Gawker anti-lotto articles.

https://youtu.be/ku2wFaaPAzI

They should train these rats to start juicing. Help them flush all those nasty toxins out of their body.