Kinky...

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

I feel bad for the guy. The GM is the one making these trades. They’re collecting a lot of picks for these trades but we all know that means this season is a wash. Not that anyone should expect the Dolphins to make good decisions with those draft picks. I mean, we’ve all seen them play over the last twenty some-odd yea…

Proposing a ballot measure that if Miami goes 0-16 no member of the 1972 Dolphins can ever drink another drop of champagne. 

You’re being irrational.

Also, fractional leads are better than whole number leads. Best of all are transcendental leads such as pi, because when you have a pi lead, the other team can’t tie the game, because when they attempt to score pi runs, they only get halfway around the bases.

+1 wife

I thought that too, but remember: he said it in Spanish.

Imagine being too homophobic for Utah.

When “keeping it Real” goes wrong.

He is one of those guys who you know insists he is “totally not angry, just finds it interesting.” at least a dozen times a day.

Yeah its so boring which is why I remember exactly how she looked, what she said, what she was wearing, how she tasted, how she felt... but I was terribly bored the entire time. It’s definitely not the only time I almost had sex.

Also I went to Harvard and she was totally impressed with that. I didn’t bring it up, she…

Love to write shitty Penthouse Forum letters about my sex life that also mention superfluously that I went to Harvard.

And I would do ANY THING FOR LOVE...oh I would do anything for love...but I won’t douthat....no I won’t douthat 

I think a “chunkier Reese Witherspoon” is called a Reese’s Witherspoon.

It doesn’ t matter how bad the movie is, as long as you have family.

*insert questionable YouTube conspiracies only loosely related to baseball

logic and facts DESTROYED by fleeting feelings of being human

“Proof read” is one word.

Our bodies are not built to fight large cats. We have thin skin that doesn’t do a good job protecting our vitals from large claws and huge teeth. We’re good at problem solving and throwing things, and we’re built to do some physical things quite well, but fighting large cats and bears is not what we excel at.